Oooh boy. I had watched this a million years ago when it came out in the 80s. I had fond memories of it as a goofy horror comedy with a young Jim Carrey, a smoldering Lauren Hutton, and (be still my heart!) a dance battle in the middle of it all.

I still loved the slapstick humor. I still guiltily enjoyed the ridiculous dance battle. I was prepared to cringe for the homophobic and sexist humor that was prevalent during the 80s. I was pleasantly surprised by the butler/chauffer character Sebastian (played delightfully by Cleavon Little) who was quite clearly gay and treated with respect and affection (and silly but not hurtful "closet" jokes.)  And then we turn right around and use really nasty homophobia for laughs. Looking back it's hard to get that disconnect. I suppose we could assume that it goes along with the queer coding of "evil" characters- but Sebastian is always a very sympathetic character, and he has one of the sweetest moments in the film when he promises to take care of the Countess after she loses her youth and beauty. It's just a really weird contrast, even though homophobia for laughs was an unfortunate staple in the 80s.

"We're going to travel around the world and make a documentary!" goes terribly, terribly wrong. But this movie goes terribly, terribly right. I like and care about the two main characters within the first couple of minutes of the movie (and also suspect this might end up being one of those horror movies that ends with me in tears. Spoilers: no tears, but I came close.) A unique twist and shift of point-of-view for a vampire movie. Really good use of the modern day trope of posting EVERY THING on YouTube. The best thing about this is the open and loving friendship between the two men.

BRB, I'm writing fanfic where these two run off together.

The lighting in this thing is ridiculous, but I sort of loved it. It would have worked better had they pushed the unrealistic atmosphere even more. I actually liked a lot about this one, although the "older man mentoring a tough young girl" with romantic overtones is a little played out. And this feels like a bit of a Buffy clone, although it was a fun ride.

This one kept popping up as I was scrolling through the Amazon Prime movies, and I kept scrolling right on by. The name is absolutely ridiculous. It's been around long enough that if it was something special, we would know. (And there would possibly be Pumpkinhead 4,5,6, and a reboot) But, out of curiosity we watched the trailer.  It did not look terrible. And the effects looked cool. (It is from Stan Winston after all.)  So, with a shrug and a "Well, it can't be worse than Prom Night!" we watched it.

Okay, so the name is ridiculous but apparently comes from a poem. I still think I might have tried find a different name for the movie, because it just does not quite do the job of inspiring fear. It's not quite a bad movie (and oh my, it is pretty.) It's disappointing because it just could have been so so good- an interesting exploration of tensions between "city folk" and "country folk" and responsibility and forgiveness, and all that - and it never quite fulfills that promise.  This came out in the 80s, so almost every horror movie of this ilk had to have a final girl (and I LOVE me a final girl,) but the choice in this one felt forced, and a different choice for the lone survivor could have been much better.

Because of course I did.

Meh. This was kind of fun, but not near the giggle fest horror comedy I was hoping for. The characters were likeable enough. I'm not big on the choice to lampshade the "we know we're using offensive language that is used to demean and dehumanize a group of people" by having the dad's daughter protest his assholery. (The fact that he was supposed to be a sort of loveable asshole was made quite clear without it.)

I am super not big into the idea that dads are the protectors of their daughter's sexuality, and that made up a rather big subplot. Which is too bad, because the relationship between the dad and daughter was mostly pretty sweet. There was some enjoyable music, if you are into songs bragging about how totally bad ass the singer's grandma is. And how can you not love that? 

I had wanted to watch this, but had been putting it off because from the previews it looked very intense and very uncomfortable. And it was, but not exactly how I had anticipated. It was also absolutely lovely. Very visually compelling with great performances. I was fascinated by how much of the "horror" came not from outside choices, but the decisions the characters were making.

There was one scene that had nudity that I can't quite make up my mind on. Was it gratuitous, or another complex layer of the story? The fact that I can't decide probably speaks to just how accustomed we are to gratuitous (female) nudity and sexually abusive content... Overall though, I am so glad we decided to watch this.

Why yes, we do seem to be hitting the "anthology" genre rather hard this month. This is an anthology of horror based around (you guessed it!) holidays. Since the "holiday movie" genre tends toward the saccharine and sentimental, it's always fun when someone goes in the horror direction instead. (I still remember the furor and protests over "Silent Night, Deadly Night," which I haven't seen, but google tells me came out when I was 10.)

Valentine's Day: Completely incompetent coach/teacher tries to make one of his students feel better after witnessing her being bullied in the absolute worst way. His solution is pretty damn unethical, so I can't be too terribly upset that it goes poorly for him. 

St. Patrick's Day: Also my birthday. Growing up, since I mostly thought it was about wearing green and leprechauns and Irish things, and it meant there was always a parade on my birthday, I always thought it was cool. I more or less didn't worry about the snakes. (I was never scared of snakes, but it wasn't until I had a kid who loved reptiles that I became a fan.) Now that I know the "snakes" were a metaphor for "pagans" and "driving out" was probably a metaphor for "kill"-  Ehhhh...little more ambivalent about the whole thing. Take that and my being a soft touch for anything about how fierce a mother's love can be? Oh yeah, I enjoyed the hell outta this one.

Easter: I mean really, who among us didn't get confused about the mythology and connection between Jesus and the Easter Bunny a time or two as a child? And maybe a little bit frightened of these creatures who were supposedly visiting our houses in the middle of the night?

Mother's Day: All I have to say about this one is that we were really glad it ended up being a woman who had written it.  No, I have more to say. I just don't know how I feel about it. It had this beautiful sort of "community of women" imagery going on that then went very wrong, and...see above.

Father's Day: This one is effective because you just can't help but hope for a happy ending, even if you just know it's not coming.

Halloween: Yeah, sometimes a real nasty revenge flick just hits the spot. Added bonus for terrible puns/jokes at the end.

Christmas: File under: Be careful what you wish for, especially if it is the must-have gift of the season.

New Year's Eve: ahhh, the enduring tale of the search for true love. 

Half the reason I enjoy the haunted house/possession genre is that most of the time, it's just so gosh darn pretty. As this movie is. Lots of cool camera angles, atmospheric lighting, and all that other good stuff. There are a few moments that could have been really creepy and chilling, if not for the choice of a "LOOK AT THIS- THIS IS REALLY SCARY" orchestral stings. Sometimes subtle is better. In any haunted house movie, there is always the "why don't you just leave!?" moment. I was not satisfied with how this one dealt with that. There were some indications they were quite a ways from civilization, but it was not really presented as an obstacle. Mateo's initial disbelief in supernatural goings on was also used as a reason to not just get the hell out of the scary house, but Monica and Sofia staying there when he finally gave in and went to visit the priest was hard to believe. (I know, sometimes we just need our horror movie characters to do stupid things in service of the plot. It's still better if you can avoid it.) There's not really anything new here, as far as exorcism/possession/haunted houses go, but it was an entertaining way to spend a couple spooky hours.

I was in the mood for some shlocky ridiculous 80s horror, so this sounded promising. Spoiler: It did not fulfill its hoped-for purpose.

The Pros:
It had Jamie Lee Curtis in it. Also Leslie Nielsen in a pre "Airplane" role, and seeing him do something that isn't his "straight man shtick" is kind of a novelty these days.
Ends with a shot of a single tear rolling down Curtis's faces and a ridiculous melodramatic sad song playing over the credits. Which can also be filed under "the cons"

The Cons:
The story is contrived, and has a HUGE plot hole. (If you're gonna have Checkov's gun, you need a payoff - but you might want to be sure it's somewhere in that first act as well.)
Dull. So boring. I am totally cool with slow burn horror, but this tries (and fails) to build suspense in the horror sequences. Which then end in pretty PG-13 levels of gore. Lack of gore isn't really a problem for me, and it can definitely be over used,  but here it just adds to the overall dullness, and feels like "we didn't have the budget for special effects" or laziness rather than a choice.
The costuming! I mean, I know we've got pushing-30s playing high schoolers here, and it was an 80s movie,  but did we have to dress them all as if they were headed to a corporate job interview? And why oh why does Jamie Lee Curtis get a dress that looks like it should be worn by a mother of the bride for the climactic "prom" sequence?  (Which I thought would be way more fun and ridiculous than it actually was.)
Ends with a shot of a single tear rolling down Curtis's faces and a ridiculous melodramatic sad song playing over the credits. Which can also be filed under "the pros"

TL;DR: Came for 80s cheese and slasher gore, stayed despite boredom so I could write this blog.

If I were you, I'd skip this one. Are we gonna take a look at any of the sequels or the reboot? We shall see.